Excerpt from the book

UNIVERSAL SLAVES

(Eveready and the Minute Maid)

John & Janey Dow acquire the ultimate convenience with unimaginable surprises in store.

            “Is the coffee ready?” John asks his wife.

            “Getting it, getting it already,” says Janey, and shuffles out to the kitchen in her slippers.

            “Okay, okay, just asking.”

            “Just think, John—with a slave we’ll never make coffee again!”

            John stares at the ceiling, imagining their slave serving fresh-brewed coffee and desserts to them on the couch!

            Both are thirty-five. He is thin with a small protruding belly, gaunt face and hook nose, while Janey is tall and has a wide round face, freckles and blue eyes.

            The house begins to rumble and their two pre-teen children bounce down the stairs like basketballs, and roll into the living room.

            “Melissa! John Junior!” Janey raises her voice at them from the kitchen. “Take it down a notch!”

            “And no noise while the visitor is here,” adds John Sr., his eyes fixed on TV news about strikes and fires.

            “I hear this slave will do your homework, too!” says Melissa. She tosses her strawberry-blond hair.

            “As long as I’m around you’ll do your own homework, and your own housework, young lady,” her mother calls from the other room.

            “It can’t do your homework,” Junior contradicts his baby sister.

            “Yessir. It does homework! Mickey’s parents got one last week. Mickey already made it learn his whole arithmetic book, and now he doesn’t have to do his homework.”

            “Shush,” says her brother. “Don’t tell them that.”

            Their father smiles, reminding them, “That won’t help Mickey with his exams.”

            “Yessir,” contends Melissa. “Now you can bring a slave to class. It’s a new law.”

            Freckle-faced Junior makes a scoffing face. “Can-not. They don’t let slaves in school.”

            “Yessir. Slaves in school now.” Melissa, her eyes big and blue, gets excited when a personal slave commercial flashes on their 3D TV. “There! Is that like the one we’re getting?” She points at the TV screen.

            “That slave has everything,” her brother whispers in her ear. “You can even make it give sex.”

            “Shut up. Stupid.” She giggles. “Can-not.”

            “We’re not getting anything tonight,” says Janey, returning to the living room. “We haven’t decided. It’s a big, big step.”

            “Oh, Mom,” says the boy. “We have to. Sooner or later.”

            “No,” John Sr. says. “We have to see if we can afford it first.”

            On the Dows’ ancient Quad-3D TV, an elder gentleman is standing in a comfortable homelike setting, and announces, “Come on down to the Slave Market! Now on Federal Highway! The time is here! Perhaps you’ve always wondered what life would be like if you had  a slave of your very own! Much more than a servant, or another luxury convenience, or a protector of life and property! A Slave Market slave will be your most devoted and loyal companion! And, it will do all those things you can’t or won’t do. Or you did before but hated—cleaning, laundry, plumbing, mowing. Think of it! Delivered in the language and color of your choice!”

            “Let’s get that one!” Melissa exclaims.

            “No. We’re looking for a better one than they sell at the Slave Market.”

            “The one tonight—is this the best one?” Junior asks.

            “That’s what we’ve heard,” his father replies, placing his arm around Janey with a reassuring squeeze of her shoulder.

            “Yeah. Let’s get the best one.” Junior nods in agreement with the plan. “One that does homework!” Junior erupts in laughter along with Melissa.

            “And gives sex too,” says the little girl.

            Both parents react with quick scowls.

            “What did you say, young lady?” asks Janey.

            “Nothing.” Melissa’s voice is almost inaudible.

            “I need it to help me do all my work,” John says. “That’s the only reason we’re thinking of getting one in the first place.”

            “But what about my needs?” says Janey.

            John acknowledges his mistake with an immediate nod over to his wife. Then, he tells the children, “If there’s any time is left, maybe the slave can help you with your homework.”

            Junior and Melissa glance at each other without enthusiasm. “We should have our own slave,” mumbles Junior. He ends by looking at his parents with a bold expression.

            They resume listening to the man in the commercial. “Call now for free-eee information! In-home demonstrations are freeee! And we offer a 30-day in-home trial period—freeee! We are so confident it will revolutionize the way you live and benefit you with unknown freedoms in every area of your life, we can give you our Ironclad Guarantee of Satisfaction! What are you waiting for! Our slaves have much smaller heads and streamlined bodies, and are much faster than any of our competitors. This is truly the world at your command! Don’t waste your good money on ‘Smart Houses’ or ‘Virtual Rooms,’ a slave from Marvel World’s Personal Slave Marketplace is the ultimate servant! Everybody will have one! Buy or lease yours today!”

            The doorbell rings.

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APPETITE FOR THE APOCALYPSE