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Page 4 of 8
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Next,
Mary called her Psychiatric Case Manager appointed by the State. Judy often
understood these huge problems and was able to help somehow.
“Hi,
Judy. It’s Mary.”
“Hello,
Mary. How is it going?”
“Mr.
McCracken is going to fire me tomorrow because I can’t sell any papers.”
“Do
you know that for sure?”
“He
told me!” she said in a nasty indignant tone. “If I don’t sell fifteen papers
I’m gone! That’s how I know! Would I tell you he’s going fire me if he wasn’t?
You think I’m just Crazy Mary. What does she know!” She fumbled with the phone
cord, huffing and puffing her breaths she was so agitated.
“Okay,
Mary. But, you won’t lose your apartment. Or any of your benefits, you know.”
“I
know. But I was doing it before. Why can’t I do it now? Plus, I’m using all the
money...” she added in her disarming childish tone, “for my extra things, like
my greeting cards, and like going to the Dunkin’ Donuts once a week. And extra
Juicy Juice.” At the end, she breathed fast with more involuntary mouth
movements.
“I
know. It is important. It’s nice to have that little extra money. What do you
think is wrong, Mary?”
“I
don’t know! Whadda I know? Howda I know? If I knew I’d fix it up all up all
right! I’d fix it.” She became quiet. “I can fix it...get a gun, and I’d fix
it.”
“Why
don’t you tell me everything, Mary,” Judy said at length, putting aside Mary’s
threat for the moment.
She
related the whole matter to Judy. “Will
you buy the fifteen papers from me by noon if I can’t sell them?” Mary asked her.
“I’m
not sure that would be the right thing, Mary. What do you think?”
“I
know, it wouldn’t be right. I gotta be able to sell these papers!” She seemed
to beg. “Prove to Mr. McCracken, and you, and my mother I can do it.”
“And,
prove to whom else, Mary? Who’s the most important one to prove it to?”
A
pause lengthened into an uncomfortable silence.
“Who?”
demanded Mary, verging on hostility. “Who else is there? What are you talking
about?”
“Isn’t
the most important person the person who has to sell the papers to keep her
job? And prove to herself she can do it?”
“Oh.
I see what you mean.” She became agreeable. “I have to prove to myself, right?”
“Okay.
And, if you figure out how to sell fifteen, maybe you can do the same thing
every day.”
“Yeah,
I know, I never knew what I did before when I was selling the papers. You think
it’s how I look?”
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