All I heard was the belt buckle jingling and the snap of my shirt cloth. My legs lost feeling and my heart went crazy, I could only stare at Miss Murphy’s pretty happy face up so close and thought of the Virgin Mary. I just wanted to lean in toward her, and kiss her like I kissed my mother and little statues of the Virgin. She found the missing loop and was buckling the belt, and my shirt was almost fixed. When she pulled my zipper up all the way up and tightened it, my face touched hers very softly like I was falling into a warm pillow cloud, and our cheeks rubbed. My dickie started to feel funny in that good way again and get stiff. So I just kissed her fast, not like I kissed Mom, but on her mouth. And she didn’t stop me, she didn’t even look surprised, she only smiled.

        Then, I lost my balance, couldn’t feel my legs and almost fell over on top of her I was so dizzy. But I grabbed onto her legs to keep standing up. They were so smooth and warm. She rose off the bench and put an arm around me to steady me. “It’s OK, I understand…” she said, and I truly believed that she knew about my feelings and she liked me too.

        Suddenly her bus came, and after one last tug of my belt buckle she climbed on the first step to pay her money. But I couldn’t let her go, she’d be gone forever. “Don’t go, Miss Murphy! I love you! More than anyone else! I hate my sister and my parents just tell me what to do. Please, don’t go!”

        For a few seconds she stopped on the bus steps above me, her long legs and flat leather shoes showing the little cracks of her toes. “How sweet you are.” We stared and stared at each other as my body was shaking. Her beautiful face and black hair shined in the sunlight. “Good-bye…” she said finally. “Someday you’ll make a girl very happy. Just wait.” She made a funny sound like she couldn’t breathe for a second and turned away.

        The hurt and sadness was so bad that I had to cry. This was so dumb to have run after her. And now she was gone. The doors closed and the bus made a lot of dust and noise as the big engine roared and wheels blew up the street dirt. She didn’t look at me any more even though I could see her inside the bus.

        A month later I learned she moved far away and the school was sold to a developer, that was the end of everything but the sadness was gone. Her last words never left me―all I wanted to do the rest of my life was make a girl like her happy, for those thrilling feelings Miss Murphy showed me that I had inside I wanted to feel again and again and again.