According to Bill he dumped her first, before it was really over in order to save some face. “Good for you,” Jordan said facetiously, but Bill thought he was serious. He went on about how courage was the most important ingredient in his life. Courage to face the inevitable, then charge ahead again. This time Jordan did not agree or disagree. He left a blank expression on his face. Grief, guilt, fear, they were all there! Courage was nowhere in sight. He was like something screwed into a tight socket except no power was flowing.

            Jordan smelled a char-burger pass by with fries, on its way to another customer, and he considered Bill’s emaciated condition. “You sure look like you could use a hot meal, Bill. For your courage,” he suggested.           

            “Ach, no way, eating just reminds me of her. For we always ate together,” he replied. “Ya know, it’s a funny thing…” Bill tried not to slur his words by forcing his mouth into the correct shapes. “Never thought of myself as having any cour’ge…’til lately. Risking everything in a business. Letting myself fall in love. Taking root in life,” he proclaimed, lifting his fist up a few inches, then dropping it. “Suddenly, she doesn’t want that. She grew up.” He made an ugly face. “Now, I’m not good enough, or intellectual enough. Or anything!” He reached out his glass in a mock toast. “Cheers...to cour’ge!” And he gulped half a pint of Guinness. Jordan noted its descent in a string of lumps through his neck. Bill swayed on the stool while a large lump was ascending. Then, he belched vengefully as though to expel the sick from his stomach. His large brown eyes were glazed over and bulged out. In the fluid of his eyeballs Jordan watched the reflection of things going on around him.

            Poor guy, Jordan figured he was numb at last, his demons flooded, lights punched out. But he was wrong. Bill watched him askance as if feeling his thoughts, not like a dummy but with his broad bony shoulders pinched up, and small head bobbing.

Read the exciting climax and conclusion in the upcoming Indulgence (Gratification)